Some things concern me...

On our way to a fun filled night at the drive-in this weekend I witnessed a sad sight.  Picture this: you just said your incredible vows to your now husband.  You looked into his eyes and saw your wonderful future filled with happiness.  You were whisked away in a fancy old Rolls Royce and are on your way to your reception to spend a few exciting and fun hours with your family and friends.

THIS is not what I saw when we were driving next to the Rolls Royce with a bride and groom inside.  I saw stress.  I know it was stress and nothing else.  I saw no happiness.  I saw no love.  I saw stress and worry.  I saw a frustrated groom barking at the driver.  I saw a close to tears bride talking angrily to her new husband.  This is the saddest image I have seen involving weddings in a long time.  

I don't know the circumstances surrounding their stress.  I may be totally out of line, but judging from weddings I've personally been involved in, I'm willing to bet it was stress over trivial things.  Maybe the flowers weren't perfect.  Perhaps he didn't dip her just the way they had rehearsed for their first kiss.  Whatever the reason, I found myself wanting to roll down my window and yell,

"THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU'RE MISSING IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER!"

It is so sad and frustrating to me that brides don't realize how much they miss out on when they obsess over EVERY little detail.  As with anything in life, the more you put into something, the more you will expect to get out of it.  If you spend a year of your engagement worrying and stressing over tiny details like monogrammed cocktail napkins and tying the perfect bow on your programs, you are more likely to be stressed when the event comes to fruition.  

I know I am probably the minority here, but I just can't wrap my head around this competition that weddings have become.  Who can have their names printed on more things.  Who had a bigger ice sculpture.  Who had a better band, better cake, better flowers.  I ask you my friends...

WHO CARES???

How about we try THIS competition:

Who is going to have the happier more fulfilling and respectful marriage? 

 I wish every couple out there was competing in this arena. 

My Number One

SERIOUSLY???

When I think about the wedding I will have some day, I use some advice I got from Sara at 2000dollarwedding.com.  I like to think about what I want the guests and Vince and I to think and feel when the wedding is over.  I make the list in my head often, and the first thing that always comes to my mind is: FUN.  

Now to me, fun does not mean having an ice sculpture with our initials.  It does not mean having a huge band.  It does not mean an expensive dress, a ton of flowers, a perfectly matching wedding party, a huge tasteless cake, or an old remodeled car to leave in.  In fact, these details sound like a headache to me.  The opposite of fun.

To me, fun means just that.  FUN.  Entertainment.  Laughter.  Drinking.  These things are what I want our wedding to be about.  I want people to leave thinking, "wow, I didn't even notice if the cocktail napkins had the couples initials on them because I was having so much fun!"  I want people to laugh and feel relaxed.  I do NOT want people to feel like they are outsiders at an exclusive show.  

At many weddings I have attended I have found that unless you are in the wedding party, you're kind of on the outside.  Most people who are not directly involved in the wedding end up sitting at their table watching the wedding party get drunk and dance.  This is something I want to avoid.  I want to have things that everyone can do, so no one is bored if they don't feel like dancing.

These pictures are from a wedding I saw awhile ago on offbeatbride.com.  I think they are hilarious.  I love the idea of having a flowerguy instead of a flower girl.  I love ideas that take the stress and seriousness out of a wedding and just make it fun and funny.  

Hats off to the bride...

So I had a few conversations this weekend about women wearing hats at weddings.  I came across this photo on www.ourblogoflove.com.

This was from a wedding in England.  I just love the English attitude about weddings.  A british friend of mine has told me that weddings across the pond are such a blast.  Everyone always has a great time, and the women wear hats!  I just think this is the best idea ever.

After talking to one friend who agreed that requesting guests wear hats to your wedding would be fun and appropriate, a wedding planner friend of mine said absolutely not.  I see both sides. Kate, my wedding /event planner friend argued that it is tacky to tell people what to wear to an event.  Based on the time of day, people should know what attire is appropriate, and should not be told (or asked) what to wear.  I agree with that, but when pictures look like this:

             

How could something so right be so wrong??

Love is the thing, you know?

I love the Sex and the City movie.  I have seen it 4 times with each of my favorite girlfriends, and I cannot wait until it comes out so I can buy it and watch it again!  While most girls loved it for the clothes and the funny scenes, I loved it for the message.

In the end, Carrie says something that I think is true for relationships and especially for wedding planning.  She says, 

"why is it that we are so willing to write our own vows, but not our own rules?"  

This quote hit me hard, and it got me thinking-women feel so much pressure to have the "perfect wedding" and I think a lot of times it ends up being more of a competition than an actual expression of the love the couple have for each other.  If you don't want a wedding party-don't have one!  If you don't like the garter or bouquet toss-DON'T do it!  There is no rule that says weddings have to follow a guideline.  Make it your own, make it a reflection of you and your partner, not a reflection of the wedding industry's idea of the "perfect" wedding.  

I hear of brides who break down after the wedding from the stress.  They get sick, or they are emotionally a wreck on the honeymoon because it wasn't perfect, or merely because it's over.  

To me a wedding should be about showing your commitment to each other with fun, laughter, relaxing, spending time with loved ones and enjoying yourself.  I wish more women would consider the marriage and not "the best day of your life"

If my wedding day is the best day of my life, I'm going to be extremely disappointed.